I wrote this poem when I was asked to read at a meeting of medical practitioners.

A thousand miles away from home
Crash approaching a million miles from self
Skin slowly peeling from the bone
A new one is yet to be born
No wonder
In 80 degree weather
I’m 5 degrees too cold
Caught in a Kafkanean nightmare
I’m losing weight faster than snow melts in a desert
I’m not well
Ain’t been for a while
I thought I could remedy it with fancy wear
But that lasted only so long
I ran to see a doctor
But they sent me home to make an appointment first
Three weeks later, they took my blood
Three days later, the doctor called
To tell me they found nothing
Hey doctor, that is the problem

My kitchen cooks meals
But it’s nothing
Without sweet mother humming ancient tunes into the fire
After 10 hours on my feet
Bolting and screwing my fate to an elusive dream
I come home to a three course meal
But it’s nothing
Without the seven brothers I once shared a single bowl with
Grew up 20 under the same roof
Now my 1 in a 2 bedroom apartment is too constricting to bear
I keep my television on 24/ 7
Just to people my lonely times
Sometimes they are the only voices I hear
I’m not well
Ain’t been for a while
I thought I could remedy it with fancy wear
But that lasted only so long
I ran to see a doctor
But they sent me home to make an appointment first
Three weeks later, they took my blood
Three days later, the doctor called
To tell me they found nothing
Hey doctor, that is the problem

I jumped and thought I was a bird
But gravity got the best of me
Fell to the floor, I swear I could crawl
But I could never slide like a snake you see
Back stroke, breast stroke
To the deepest ocean floor
But I was never wet enough they say
A square peg in a round hole
I’m bruised all over
But hey, up top I’m like all others
Perpetual optimist
My glass is always half full
Or half blind I am
Short sighted, I trade limbs for shoes
Never once realizing the irony in that
But like I said
I’m not well
Ain’t been for a while
I thought I could remedy it with fancy wear
But that lasted only so long
I ran to see a doctor
But they sent me home to make an appointment first
Three weeks later, they took my blood
Three days later, the doctor called
To tell me they found nothing
Hey doctor, that is the problem

Don’t be fooled
By this skin façade
Inside I’m missing vital organs
Less than bones
I’m just a shadow of my former self
Mother’s tongue quickly slipping off my tongue
My thoughts and words don’t sing the same tune
So my actions is left on the dance floor
With two left feet
I thought it was going to be a bumpy ride
Riding on a spare tire
With a quarter tank in the middle of nowhere
Got me suspecting otherwise
I’m not well
Ain’t been for a while
I thought I could remedy it with fancy wear
But that lasted only so long
I ran to see a doctor
But they sent me home to make an appointment first
Three weeks later, they took my blood
Three days later, the doctor called
To tell me they found nothing
But I had something
That is quickly sipping out of my right hand
My left is left holding on to nothing
And that is a problem